What If: Helga's Parrot
by mentalagility
Summary: Helga tries to stop the parrot from reciting her entire poem to the class, but what happens if the monitor lizard leaves the classroom instead? (I recommend watching "Helga's Parrot" first, since this is an alternate ending fic)


**A/N: Hey Arnold! and the content from the episode "Helga's Parrot" belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

A day or two ago, Helga created yet another heartfelt poem; unfortunately, the parrot absorbed it and flew away after a failed attempt to kill it. When Helga discovered that the bird flew to Arnold's place, she tried many unsuccessful schemes to retrieve it. Arnold, encouraged by Lila, decided to bring the talking parrot to school for show and tell day. This was Helga's final chance to eliminate the animal. Helga, with a tattered umbrella clenched in her hands, slowly stepped closer and closer to the talking parrot.

"Arnold, my love  
my sultry preteen."

She walked around the students listening carefully with a determined scowl on her face. _Prepare to die, you stupid bird!_

"Why must I hold you  
only whilst I dream?"

Helga would've ran to the parrot, but likely the bird would fly away, spooked. _Grrrrr..._

"Will I be forever enslaved  
by your spell?"

She had to whack and defeat it, preferably in one shot. _I am going to KILL YOU!_

"Why must I worship you  
and never ever tell?"

If she didn't succeed, her world will come to an end! _I can't let you say anymore, any last words, you dumb parrot?_

"Arnold, you make my girlhood tremble!  
My senses all go wacky."

_Come on, just a little closer..._

"Someday, I'll tell the world, my love!"

_Almost there..._

"Or my name is not..."

She tripped over a power cord, completely missing the parrot. The monitor lizard wandered out of the classroom, sneaking away without Phoebe's notice.

"Helga G. Pataki!"

The classroom gasped while all the color in Helga's face vanished. She slowly returned to standing with wide eyes, attempting to think of an excuse for this poem. Everything went numb; her mind fell into full-panic mode. The only sound Helga could hear was of her fast, thumping heartbeat. No excuse flew from her mouth. The only thing she could get herself to do was run, and that's what she did.

Helga dashed out of the classroom as quickly as her legs could carry her, almost bumping into a janitor on her way out. She almost tripped on the steps outside of the school entrance, but she didn't care because Helga G. Pataki, the relentless bully that intimidated people, now possessed a dark secret exposed to the cruel light. Passing many of her classmates' homes, she easily decided that returning home was a bad idea and sprinted past the house without a second thought. Many tall buildings flew by as she headed for anywhere away from the neighborhood.

_What's happening? What has my poor life become? I - Aaaahhh!_

Helga wasn't paying attention to a rock in the sidewalk. Her foot slammed into it, causing her to fall to the pavement. The impact stunned her. She didn't feel like there was any reason to get up, so she lay there.

Helga noticed a faint voice in the background calling her name and lifted herself off the ground. _No, I don't want to talk to anybody. I have to keep going._ She tried to run again, but all the burning scratches on her knees, hands, and face slowed her down. _Criminy! Whoever is coming will catch up to me at this rate. I guess I have no choice._ She opted to hide behind a trash can in the alleyway next to her instead.

The voice grew stronger. _Please don't find me, please don't find me, please don't find me._ Helga almost prayed no one would find her. _Who even went out of their way to leave school to search for me, anyway? I'm not going back. Ever. My 'life is ruined. I guess I'll have to fend for myself now. I'm used to that anyway! This won't be so bad..._ She tried to convince herself, but it didn't work. _Oh, who am I kidding? Bob and Miriam knew when I left during Thanksgiving, they might actually notice I left now! What am I going to do?_ Helga tried her best to fight back tears. Unfortulately, she began uncontrollably sobbing so loud that it was audible to Arnold.

"Helga? Is that you?"

_No, no it's not. Go away._ She wanted to speak, but her crying prevented her. She felt a warm hand touch her shoulder. She involuntarily jumped at the sensation and looked up. If she didn't break down before, she would've recognized his voice instantly. _Oh no. This is the end. Just let me down gently, okay? I can't take it._

"Helga, you're bleeding!" Arnold's face became worried.

Helga looked away, sniffling, "So what?" and pushed away Arnold's hand.

"Helga, wait here, I'll be right back!" Arnold left the alley and ran to a nearby drugstore. He used most of the money he had to purchase bandages and antiseptic cleansing wipes. _I hope she's still there. I have to hurry!_ He thought to himself.

When Arnold returned to the alleyway, Helga, much to his surprise, remained there.

"Helga, I'm back. Can I see your face for a moment?" Arnold asked.

Helga wanted to remain buried in her arms, but she always felt compelled to listen to Arnold, and this was no exception. She reluctantly raised her head.

"Ouch! That stings!"

Arnold felt bad for putting her through more pain, but her wounds had to be cleaned. He tried to be as gentle as possible while wiping her scratches. He started with her cheek, which made Helga blush, much to her dismay. _He's cleaning my wounds? He's taking care of me? Normally, I would be over the moon, but I'm scared. Just reject me already! I can't take it much longer! It hurts more than these scratches ever could!_

After Arnold applied bandages to her face, he noticed her palms were also bleeding. He lifted them without a word and started wiping. Helga's cheeks continued to burn red.

_She must have fallen somewhere while running. I could hardly catch up to her, she runs so fast! I should've left the classroom earlier. I wish I could ask Grandpa for advice right now... I guess I'll have to do what I think is right._ Arnold bandaged her hand and moved to the other hand. _But, what is the right thing to do? What am I supposed to say? I don't want to say anything to upset Helga even more. I wonder if she'll return to school. Everyone laughed at her when she left. What will she do? Maybe everyone will be more understanding about it later. I don't even understand it though. Out of all the people out there who could like me like me, it's HELGA?_

Arnold finished with her other hand. Helga stretched out her legs for Arnold to take care of her knees. She stopped crying. _I just have to accept it. I mean, I knew all along that Arnold would never love me. But... Why did he chase after me? Why is he helping me? It must be all in his good nature, that fool. What a dork! You tease me without knowing! You don't notice things you can't see, even when they're blatantly obvious! And yet, I still fall for you, you stupid football head! I want to be mad at you! Why can't I? You're... too nice. It infuriates me and awakens my passion for you at the same time. Oh, Arnold... No! I am not reciting a monologue right now! Focus, Helga. What do I do? What should I say? I don't want to say anything to drive Arnold away. I wonder what he's thinking. Everyone is probably so amused right now. What will Arnold do? I should have laid down the law, like I usually do! I messed up. I can't show my face at P.S. 118 ever again._

"Helga? I've finished. Um... I guess we should go somewhere and talk." _This is so nerve wracking... I don't know what to expect from Helga anymore._

"Uh... um... o-okay," were the only words Helga had.

They walked towards a nearby park in silence, which only continued when they sat on the swings.

_Okay, I just have to let her down gently. I don't want her to kill me!_ Arnold opened his mouth to speak, but something inside him held back. He tried again multiple times, to no avail. _Why can't I reject her? There's no way that I have any feelings for her! I mean sure, she does have a nice side, but rarely shows it! She's just plain mean most of the time. So, why am I so hesitant? _Arnold paused his thoughts to peek at Helga from the corner of his eye. _She's really nice though when her other side comes out. I can't imagine anyone else doing what she's done for me in the past. But still..._

"Arnold," Helga weakly interrupted.

Arnold tilted his head to stare straight into her forlorn eyes, which looked back at him.

"I wish I could just pretend this never happened, but no one would comply," Helga held onto the chains with a tight grip, as if she were about to fall. She felt like her body was drowning in nervousness.

"Well, maybe everyone would," His trademark optimism surfaced, despite his tense mood.

"Are you kidding me? I'll stay a laugh-fest for the rest of my life!"

"Helga, maybe if you would just show who you really are, then no one would make fun of you," Arnold crossed his legs and twiddled his thumbs on his lap.

"Criminy, football-head! You're so clueless! I had a reputation I kept up for a long time and now it's shattered!" Her hands mimicked an explosion.

"Good."

"Good? Are you kidding me!?"

"No, it's really a good thing, Helga. It's the first step into revealing your true self. You don't need to keep up your bad attitude anymore. Everyone will eventually accept you," Arnold slightly smiled.

Helga tore her gaze away to the ground, appearing to ponder his words for a moment. Arnold wondered if he already convinced her, but figured that's too easy.

"I can't do it," she sighed.

Arnold gestured with his hands, "Yes, you can! All you have to do is try."

"Arnold," Helga began, looking back at his gorgeous green eyes, "the last time I acted like myself was in preschool. Do you know what happened?"

Arnold shook his head.

"Everyone laughed and made fun of me. I couldn't talk to my parents about it, because they never noticed me. The only option was to fight back."

"That wasn't your only option, Helga."

"What other option was there, Arnold-o?"

"You could have talked to me."

"HA! You don't even know why they picked on me, do you?"

"Well... no."

Helga relaxed her body, resting her hands on her lap, "I made it too obvious that I... had a crush on you."

Arnold's eyes grew big, "You... you liked me back then?"

"Ever since," Helga knew there was no point in hiding it anymore, since the parrot nonchalantly spoke her feelings.

Curiosity compelled Arnold to question, "Why?"

Helga took a deep breath, "I doubt you remember the first time we met."

Arnold searched through his memories.

"It was a rainy day. I walked to school alone because Bob and Miriam were too busy listening to dumb Olga playing the piano. I left and ended up in mud on the way. Just when I thought my first day at preschool was already doomed, a car pulled up to me. You got out of that car, held your umbrella over me, and said, 'Hi, nice bow.' I said, 'Huh?' and then you said -"

"I like your bow, because it's pink like your pants." These words surprised Arnold as they escaped his mouth, causing him to blush.

Helga gawked at Arnold, "You... you... you do remember!"

Astounded by the other, both became quiet.

_How did I remember that? I forgot until now! She looked like she really needed a friend... I don't recall her ever playing with anyone; she always seemed so lonely. I think I gave her crackers once because someone stole hers... Was that Harold? My mind is foggy. She wasn't mean at first, just... shy. I think I liked her before she changed... Yeah, I did. I wish she never became a bully... If Helga never shielded herself from people, I think she'd be an awesome person to be around. I would even maybe... Like her like her... I wonder... That's it! I know what I want to do!_

_Arnold actually remembered! Maybe all hope isn't lost for me yet! You make me feel in ways I never felt before! Your sweet, bright green eyes shows the you I adore! Ooh, that was different, I'll have to write that down later... Although... he never said whether or not he likes me. Oh, the agony! The anticipation! I guess I'll have to provoke him._

"Arnold, um..."

"Helga, I... I'm sorry, this must be hard for you to say all of this, and... I mean... do you... really l-love... me?" _That didn't come out as smoothly as I hoped._

This caught Helga off guard, "I... I... I love you, A-Arnold..."

Fiery red shades filled both faces.

"I guess... you want a response," Arnold rubbed the back of his neck.

Helga nodded, waiting patiently (a difficult thing to do).

"I tried earlier. I couldn't do it. I didn't know why, but I think I do now."

Helga's heartbeat raced.

"I couldn't reject you because I want to get to know you more. I rarely see this side of you, the real you. I really like the honest side of you. I want to know the other sides of your personality I haven't seen before. You're so... different, Helga."

Helga swooned internally, "So, what are you getting at?"

"Well," Arnold smiled, "I have an idea."

"Yes?" Helga's nerves faltered her voice.

"If you want to, we could, um..." Arnold gathered much-needed courage, "maybe hang out together... alone, every now and then. Maybe... go to Slausen's or catch a movie... something like that."

Helga nearly fainted, "Wha... Really?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But, what?"

"There's kind of a catch."

Helga fell out of her dreamy state, "Oh, no..."

"You have to return to school with me and try to be yourself." Arnold held his breath.

Helga's face combined scowling and confusion. _Why does he have to make my dreams difficult to obtain? I should have known, this was too good to be true!_ "I don't know..."

"Helga, I'll be there to support you if you try," Arnold gave her a reassuring grin.

Helga crossed her arms, "Arnold, it won't be a quick transformation, you know?"

"I understand. Like I said, just try. It would make me happy."

Helga felt the butterflies in her stomach; unfortunately, they pushed her off of the swing.

Arnold immediately got off his swing to help her up, "Helga! Are you okay?"

Helga smiled widely, "Yeah, I'm okay. Very okay."

"Let's go back to school now, okay?"

"I don't really want to, but... fine."

When Arnold offered his hand to help Helga, she stood up and brushed off her dress. As they walked towards the sidewalk heading in the direction of P.S. 118, Arnold reached out to discreetly hold the hand of the girl who loved him more than he would ever know.

**A/N: So, I hope you enjoyed reading this! I am marking this as complete, but I do have another idea for a different alternate ending. If that happens, I'll be posting it as another chapter! I like reviews, so tell me if this was fluffy or a piece of sh - oops, gotta go! :)**


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